I just think a lot of these stories are twisted and about anger and bitterness over the dissolved relationship, kids are suffering & going without because of this. Financial aid claimed he made to much money, because the fact that half his paycheck was being sent directly to his ex meant nothing to them. Dont they need support as well. Hes now getting SSI benefits which cannot be garnished and my daughter is LEGALLY BLIND works a full-time job and cannot get SSDI benefits! I get my kids 45/55 and she doesnt use the majority of my money for my kids. I had to apply for snap/TANF. During the trial for the charge my lawyer made a deal that I give up my right to access my kids at her residence to get out of the charge. Parents shouldnt have to or need to agree to have 50/50.That is not a 50/50 state. Going down to the master bedroom I find my wife nude spooning with s naked guy. Now imagine that because one parent wrote themselves as primary in the custody agreement, New York State has agreed that theyre entitled to receive child support, and share the cost of extracurricular activities and child care while also being responsible for costs of living. This is so very inspirational and wonderful to hear of. Guys have went to jail for owing $1500. The child support system is Set up to PUNISH the hard working parent and MOTIVATE the lazy parent to continue to be jobeless and lazy. Setting us against each other and gaining revenue in the process. It should be 50/50 automatically and child support should never give more money to one parent than the other. The CS system is flawed and it should ONLY be for helping the Parent that is does not have a job and NEEDS the money to care for the childrennot just a handout because of some formula that works in favor of one parent vs the other. Obviously, she had the upper handdue to my ignorance and nativityand theres no way it would happen without a fight, if I had it to do again. I have always been a strong provider and have always helped my family as best as possible while we were a unit. Why should that man, who doesnt have a large income, be forced into a situation where he has to struggle just to make ends meet when the woman is perfectly capable of working and has a job herself? The judge took her word for it. There is also little evidence to suggest dads cant learn all of moms behaviors normally associated with child rearing. All this state funded support also places a burden on the noncustodial parent to replace that support when the custodial parent is more than capable of providing some type of support to at least even the blow. How can you justify $1,000.00 in support monthly? No matter what the circumstances are a parent should pay child support and the child should live a life style which they have become accustomed to. BTW my ex comes from a very wealthy family. So if your work schedule interferes, its okay to leave the kid at Moms until it works better for you, right? Child support laws are designed to keep the noncustodial father/mother in a financial decay, as if they are the ones who are responsible for the child and divorce. 4) She makes a lot of money and doesnt need CS isnt a defense. Its about abusing the system and the children. It was the father that busted the door down and found the boy. Something is clearly wrong. So many stories of past due child support have to do with parents ignoring our letters, phone calls, subpoenas to court. This is a trap question. Many people dont realize this. Unite and fight the system. So what should we do about the mothers who dont want to succeed in life and live of child support. Last September, the Supreme Court of Canada confirmed a parent's ability to make a retroactive claim for child support. Jerrad Ahrens licensed in NE and IA only. By the time I did call, my children were convinced to not talk to me anymore. Just splitting the bills associated with the children. The whole system is Antiquated in a joke. I too live in Illinois, and Ive had custody of my son and daughter since 2004. I want to use a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both my ex-wife and I contribute to in order to provide for my childrens needs in order to share the responsibility for providing for our childrens needs, but my family court judge wont let me. There should be a base number that covers food, clothes and lodging split 50/50 between both parents. The courts tried to do that to me to. 1) It is mind boggling to me that people are complaining about $1,000/month child support when their ex has full custody. The same people who hate welfare are the same people who demand personal responsibility right? My ex drives a 2015 new model car, I drive an 1989 toyota Camry. Amen to that brotha couldnt agree with you more this system has to change asap our rights are being taken away little by little and with that our parent raising views and dreams /our hard work earned money and some.. Once she aborts the fetus, the females interests in and obligations to the child are terminated. The law should be added to so that those women don't have several babies and then wait for the child support to come in. 4) Think about getting a vasectomy. They are turning our children into disrespectful, hateful, unappreciative, entitled, narcissitic young adults who lack empathy, and have learned to lie cheat and steal as long as it is a means to their end, without remorse, without morals, standards, or integrity. Making one family suffer so lawyers and judges can pad their pockets and the other parent can sit on their butt is criminal. We are now divorced and I 1400/month in support. We pay almost $400 a month in child support for her to have her only and extra 4days a month? Worth a sacrifics in the long run but the counter support for him, can come from me. My daughters mother put she was only making 8.50 an hour working 28/hrs a week when she filed for child support. I fought, but basically was told that it would be unlikely. She split up our family with 5 young kids and tried to bankrupt me in the process. The System is beyond broken. In the end, I got decision making through mediation (I couldnt afford court). I calmly told him why are you talking to me in a rude manner and he got pissed he told me I dont need to respect you or put up with this and hung up on me. Also EXPARTE YOUNG. Every one has their own story. . She should have been denied alimony or anything for that matter. 176K views 12 years ago FOX 25 Boston News - http://www.myfoxboston.com - Just hearing the words child support sparks an emotional response. I saw first hand how the court system simply does not care about anything you have to say in regards to your parenting rights being taken from mom without any valid reason it is truly sad but Im hopeful things are gonna change. I went to court with all this paperwork and the judge didnt even look at anything or wanted to hear what I had to say but granted her the order for 3 years so I can not see my daughter for 3 years. We areout the door planning another activity. You are being conspired against as soon as you enter the court room. Children are merely a piece of furniture to be split and distributed. Child Support laws are outdated and need to change. The fact that most states score so poorly on the NPO Shared Parenting Grade Card (a project I was the lead researcher on) belies the claim that our states custody and child support laws are all about protecting children. Regardless of whether you live in Manhattan or Nassau, Suffolk, Queens, Westchester or Brooklyn counties, New York fathers often fight an uphill battle when it comes to child custody issues. Well I for one am ready for action because I am a good dad who has been taken advantage of left and right for years because of this exact stuff in this article. I was in my childs life before she even was born. Im kinda in the same boat, but Im not going to be a slave or indentured servant: Im going to take my life before that happens. Meanwhile, their mother has written off my son and refused to help with anything now that hes emancipated. I make a little over $45,000 a year and my ex thinks that is enough, so he should NOT have to contribute unless he wants to buy a pair of sneakers here and there, or pay for a bi-weekly haircut. Imagine having to come home from work to cook dinner, clean, help with homework (and those science projects take some effort) and spend a little quality time with the kids before heading to bed, then waking up to do it all over again the next day!!! Well, he gave me money for 3 months and has given nothing since then and doesnt even acknowledge that he should. I Love my child bottom line that what shud matter .The father s spend more time with there child.Why is it all down to money? You have to owe several months worth of Child Support to get to the point where you cant drive your own car. She has been staying with me for 3 years. Unfortunately, most people who work in these support collections units are operating on a political agenda and abuse their positions to achieve those ends. Even in cases of domestic abuse by their husbands and even when they are deemed excellent mothers by the courts. The lack of relationship with his children has nothing to do with him not trying, but everything with her not letting him be the father he wanted to be. Although it is interesting to see these testimonials. STOP acting like attorneys care. Although the mom did nothing to help him make more $. On the other hand, women can approach an office and they set the mothers up with face to face conversation and direct contact. When I came back, she had full custody and stolen a substantial amount of money from my account. The system is almost similar to yours and has been working for over eight years. Especially when one parent tries to do the right thing against all odds and is not rewarded, just punished. My last child will graduate this year. Hes 52, and he has kids by his wife neice and daughter. The couple shared physical custody 50/50. really i got a job b(#!h. The office has been nationally recognized for leading the country in child support collections, with a record $2.3 billion for its 2007 fiscal year. She had her permit suspended for oweing a few months when we were paying it all on time until my injury. Every guys gonna do that now. This is such a blessing for us. I want women to enjoy their financial freedom, control the choices they make in their lives, to be able to make choices not based on desperation, and have a great life. Mind you, for. this is just another way to lock up black men and put them in the leagal slavery system,.. we have to pay half of support but we dont get half the time, we are expected to maintain a house so when the kid does come to visit he has a place to stay. Your email address will not be published. Half of the amount that Mr V is paying would be more than enough to support a great quality of life for his children. I sooo agree with you on this!!! An agreement between the parents: If both parents agree, child support payments can be waived or stopped. If a pregnancy occur from the equal decision is when equality breaks down for the man. I could literally go on all day. Posting on here is great as it shows the fathers that there are others going thru similar circumstances. She never even got a job but lived on our money. THEY WANT THIS STATUS QUO! The National Parents Organization recently released its Shared Parenting Report Card, which graded every state on its child custody statutes and how well they promote shared parenting following divorce or separation. We need to have a more flexible child support system in place . Required fields are marked *. With the ability to be financially squeezed now being eliminated, the playing field becomes leveled again, and the family court will now have to temper themselves by consulting with the bankruptcy court prior to any further financial rape being visited upon you. I do not keep our daughter away from him or his family; I have, however, stopped being the person to make arrangements for her to see any of them. Yeah me too they have taken my children and all my money. He put himself there by his own bad choices he should not be rewarded by lowering his,support to almost zero. I had to track it sown to get credit and when I did they didnt refund my 9000 of being over paid they just kept taking and I was quite a bit ahead. I grew up without a father and I know theyre better off with both parents in their life. Dont believe all this? The office then says they cant do anything about it , if he is not there. That is when CSE started. Lets do something people !!! People make mistakes and they fall out of love, things happen. I cant imagine living on child support, its not possible, even living low income. As a defunct website named AnswerIsland explained it, both ordering sole custody with the lower earning parent and restricting the non-custodial parents access to their children increases the amount of child support collected, which increases the incentive payments (kickbacks) that the state receives for collecting child support. I literally spend 300 on sushi. And all this putting them in jail a day or two for non support m back support is their own fault they had these children and know they are court appointed to pay to help support them they should know they must get and keep a job . Sounds like someone doesnt want to admit whats really going on, but wants to place all the blame on the ex. You file a support modification to eliminate the daycare portion. thats because they lower it so much . Sir you are 100% correct! Could you contact me via email, I have some questions that I am sure you could lend me some advice on. but going back to your point is that I think if a women who has 3 kids and receives $287 a month then any other women can make it. We will not be demonized for our struggles. View a full listing of offices nationwide. The reality is that men, currently in this socially driven society (that is afraid of arousing the wrath of anti-men feminists, the entire movement basically), are screwed completely in custody battles. My advise is dont get married, have kids or be with anyone whos a gold digger. Its easy to see why this is such a difficult cycle to break. We requested a modification in writing and never got a response. Custodial parents should be required to document actual costs of the child (day care, health care, clothing, extra curriculars etc) and there should be an equitable split of these costs between the parents (based on earning ability, education etc, not whether they want to work or not). Added bonus for him, it sure pissed you off. I paid all the medical bills from my daughter, Im struggling to help pay my kids through college. I like I said dont not care if my kids father pays me child support, because I know that its what keeps me going everyday. If anyone has been ordered to pay interest on their child support obligation, please feel free to ask the court or local prosecutor to recalculate the interest you are or have been ordered to pay based on this FEDERAL law. Terrible child support formula. How dare u turn a page to help fathers again into a women victims bullshit. Move to TN. Please support reform laws in your state and at the federal level! On Tuesday, Republican lawmaker Mike Moon suggested he supported the rights of 12-year-olds to tie the knot during a debate about a bill he introduced that would ban gender-affirming care for the state's . I cant afford a lawyer to keep going back and forth to court so I have essentially given up. How do we change it? Therefore it should be no problem for you to do the right thing and give up your parental rights while sending a large portion of your income to your sons father to do as he wishes with. Yes! Each parent will do the best they can with what they have. Well thats not fair. I think children belong with their moms with the exception that she is proven unfit. All she needs to do is provide information about the father to them, and direct contact with the father is unnecessary. I had all 3 of my daughters since before they started school. You kill the family you kill the country and it future ! Collect tons of child support. it was signed finalized. I was told that Child Support credited me the $400 i sent over the course of the previous years but i was in debt the remaining $600 every month since the day she walked out on me. I am a single mom of 4 (raised and on their own). I live in California, is there no one to help men who are being extorted by a broken and bias court system? We missed holiday dinner and I had to pay someone else to fix my car. Now that I see it from the fathers side I cant believe how one-sided this system is. Both man and woman decide to take responsibility of that action equally. I havent seen my daughter in over 3 years due to the fact my ex found out I was getting married and was having a child with my wife. Get an attorney asap. There is no shortage of evidence showing that shared parenting helps offset the negative effects of divorce. Several sociologists and scholars are quoted in the story suggesting possible solutions to update the system to better support children while also incorporating fathers into their lives. Example my husband pays support for a child which is half of his income. Oh well my advice dont marry, live with anyone or have kids I did it all and got the bad deal for being a good dad. He can keep sleeping on his mothers couch and taking public transportation (his license was revoked after a year of non-payment. Yes we have dead beat dads but we also have dads that try. Please email me at robert.a.green45@gmail so we can get this law suit in motion, When you look at it. They spend way too much time chasing and threatning the fathers that are paying so that those cases can used in their bs statitics as a means of showing the system works. The money is for your daughters welfare, not to give you something. If the mother works and makes $140k a year, then your annual child support obligation of $20,892 does not even come close to what she is contributing to the care of your kids if she is the custodial parent. Our children are suppose to be the best of both of us. Giana Messore licensed in AR only Little Rock, AR. I just want my baby back. If your father is paying alimony to your mother, then no. SMH at all the ridiculous complaining on these boards whether the CP (usually Mom) is working or not. I have like 4-5 years of this nonsense to pay. But now because my childs mother is bitter she goes and puts me on child support but claims it was only for insurance. We wont get started on the unintended consequences of the Bradley Amendment (42 US Code 666-somehow appropriate) or the states which charge more than the amount of interest allowed by Federal law (6-percent) in order to increase both the gross amount of child support collected, and thus the kickbacks the states receive under the CSPIA. That is the only time the best individual interest of any child forced to live with whom they are told to live with will ever be met. I live a life that I built . And I can see when the child support check is cashed off my bank statements Each month its cashed a weekend I have my girls And the next week when I get my girls back They didnt do anything but sit on their tablets and didnt get snacks like they do with me (fruits and vegetables) but their mother does have a brand new car, The problem is no one wants to advocate for the fathers. Be there for the kids or dont be there at all. When they need food or clothes, who do they come to? It is outrageous so even suggest that you shouldnt have to pay for supporting your child because your ex works hard. The final straw was one summer, when our youngest was just a year, the central-AC broke. They dont go on hold because you lost your job. Life for one is too expensive seeing as most people have to sell portions of their life for wages to buy necessities let alone supporting children in an era of bartering where common folk start off upside down. He loves all of his kids so much and would do anything for them and she could care less about her kids especially their daughter and he is the one with his rights threatened just because he cant we cant afford to send more than 300 dollars a month just so our daughter we have together has food and shelter!! Then she still didnt let him. it is a human rights issue that disproportionately and unethically affects fathers and their children to the tune 97% of all obligations financially insofar as child support payments are the father paying it- whether they are a better parent and excellent or not, whether they were domestically abused by the mother or not, whether the children were abused by the mother or not, whether the mother has a criminal history or not and even whether the father has actual custody or not not moms getting that insane obligation percentage across the board. She overindulges them, but doesnt save for their future. Largely because governments and feminists dont want me to have control over their sexual reproduction. Out dated systemI have 2 boys and share time with them 50/50. As a woman, I am personally sick of certain women( not all) taking good honest men for all their worth just because these men had had children with them. 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