Can you repeat that because I want to remember the dumbest thing Ive ever heard? 73. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. Meanwhile, the person would naturally know that you are not asking this because you did not get it the first time. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. Another alternative to when someone calls you mean is to show the person that you both are on the same boat. When you disappear, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day. You're not simply a drama queen. Hey, heres a hint. Did it come with a pole? I might be fully vaccinated, but I'm still not going to hang out with you. Cover your ears if you don't want to hear what I'm saying. You have a very sympathetic face. 97. As comebacks for kids go, this is a great way to call someone a moron without actually saying it. I like the way you comb your hair. No, that's why I whispered it. Youll probably need it to blow up your next date. Youre so fat, your double chin has a double chin. Somewhere out there a tree is producing oxygen for you. The person pointing a finger at you and calling you might need to be reminded that he or she has got three other fingers pointing back at them. Im not a proctologist, but I can spot an ass when I see one. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { I didn't mean to offend you but I'll take it as an additional perk. I thought you were the monster under my bed. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Youre so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks. I love your outfit. We all know that google has the answer to almost everything about life. They're clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. Its great to see how you dont let your education get in the way of your ignorance. If you had another brain, it would be lonely. I believe you can achieve anything. You can use these yo mama jokes as good comebacks in an argument. You might even have some fun in the process. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Brains arent everything. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. Lasts longer in bed, too. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? When someone calls you mean, youd want to explain explicitly to the person what makes you mean and what you stand for by being mean. School them with this cold response. You must think youre strong, but you only smell strong. Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. I don't want to rain on your parade. Now you can be! 6. So, if I Googled jerk, would your picture come up? You are asking because you are about to retaliate in a way that the person may not be expecting. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. 37. It would be a great day if you accidentally used a glue stick instead of Chapstick. Oh my God, look at you. When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? (25 Things! While they can come in handy during unfortunate encounters with people you don't know, they're always best applied in conversations with people you do. After all, a good comeback gives you clout. Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't want to be mean, but you need Listerine. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. 40. If i dont answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work? Sorry I cant think of an insult stupid enough for you. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. If the person calls you mean and there is a pure indication that you dont deserve such a remark, then tell the person he or she is unwise for saying so, but constructively. Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? 83. And theyve been happily married ever since. Id like to help you out. Theyre also for making good comebacks you can use in an argument. Theres nothing quite as satisfying as a savage comeback. I fart in your general direction. Please, save your breath. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. You better pay it extra. "You're immature". Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. What to Say When Someone Calls you Rude or Mean? The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. I never even listen when you tell me them. I've been called worse things by better men. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if youd had enough oxygen at birth? Yo mama is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. I bring happiness when I walk in, and you bring happiness when you leave. The opposite of being gay is to be straight and the teacher asserts that you have a straight or pale face in the morning. You are like a software update. Right now Im sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I cant get my head that far up my ass. However, they can also come across as rude themselves. How would you know? Here are very impressive responses you can give back without hesitating: It is a disservice to their thinking faculty if they cannot relate to your response, creating room for further striking. Youre the reason they invented double doors! These really funny comebacks and insults definitely work because theyre the best burn jokes youll find. Youre so dumb no one believes youre my brother. Then use your vision charisma Tip 2. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Your rudeness isnt helping me or you, 13. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. I dont have any trash to take out today, but I volunteer you as tribute. It should be, you sap. 2. Some when they enter, some when they leave. Too bad your parents took it literally. Interesting Comebacks to Pick Up Lines. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but here's a participation award. 99. Ive never had many life goals. 90. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. So use them with vengeance against any mean person. I don't even listen when you share them. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste. 1. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! He hasnt been back to visit since. Whether you need something short, something witty, or something downright savage, we've got you covered. Have you been shopping lately I heard in the mall they are selling lives. Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too! Dont hate me because Im beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Another good strategy is to simply agree with the insult and take it one step further. Good Comebacks 1. You're certainly entitled to your incorrect opinion. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. I think theyre onto something. I have always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls.. then I met you. Youve got something on your face. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Im going to call on someone else. Comebacks like "Make me" and "Ha ha ha" can be flirty since they provoke a response. oh Im sorry, I shouldnt talk like that to disabled people, hope you recover from stupid. ), 17+ Good Comebacks for Being Called Stupid. I have my away message on cause I dont want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense. Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Some of these seem like great options for those cold, rainy, or just plain boring days where the hours to fill seem endless. Sweetheart, the only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears. It serves as a trusted guide to help you navigate life's challenges by providing you with the necessary tools and resources to elevate your existence. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. How impressive! Youre not simply a drama queen. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. I understand everything you said. With any luck, theyll think twice before trying to mess with you again. I forgot the world revolves around you. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 4. I dont know how to say this nicely, so I wont. This may or may not be your personality. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. The truth will set you free. If you like these clean good burns, please share this page with all you friends right now because these burn jokes will definitely amuse your friends. There are some stupid people in this world. Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? Ouch. Every time I see you, I immediately think "not now.". If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. Unfortunately, thinking of the perfect comeback in the moment can be tough. Usually, people live and learn. 2. I may be fat, but youre ugly, and I can lose weight. Thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared. Use these good roasts for bullies and all jerks. Youre not exactly bad looking. Youre so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. If you think these clean roasts are amusing, youll also like this 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Are you agitated and confused? 88. Id like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement! How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? 93. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. xhr.send(payload); Do you like to share that with the whole class? You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Did your parents get you from the REJECT SHOP? They can help you to stand up for yourself in the face of rudeness and put someone in their place. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Your secrets are always safe with me. When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. 70. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. Give me a minute; I'm trying to think of an insult simple enough for you to understand! Oops, my bad. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. And, of course, roasts are a great way to put a pin in any conversation you don't feel like carrying on any further. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Youre so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. Youre twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Here is a list of the best baddie comebacks: "You're pale". If you have an annoying brother, this list is for you. Heres a tissue. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The fact that you havent told the person how mean they are all these while should not serve as clearance for them to do so to you.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'callforte_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_17',122,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); The best comebacks for being called mean are best expressed when you can own the remark and take advantage of what you are being called to intimidate the person you called you mean. My phones battery lasts longer than your relationships. Light travels faster than sound. ? As an affiliate partner of various brands and sponsored content, this site may earn commission on qualifying purchases. Myself for example. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? I don't want to miss anything you have to say." or "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. How did you get here? At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesnt hit me in the face. Remember when I asked for your opinion? I LIED. Now, someone is calling you mean. Ah, sarcasm. 82. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. I always root for the little guy. People like you are the reason Im on medication. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? I really dont like you but if you really must leave a message, Ill be nice and at least pretend to care. You were able to take control of a situation but the only way you could have done that was to be mean towards some set of persons. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. If laughter really is the best medicine, your face might just cure the world's deadliest diseases. Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma? 98. 18. Its too small to be out there all alone. I like how you look, but its too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. I'm so sorry if my brutal honesty inconvenienced your overinflated sense of self. 15+ Witty Comebacks for Thats What She Said! Youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances. 02 "They say that the universe is composed of protons, electrons, and neurons. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. So looking at you, it's obvious that they quit after just one day. Louie Armstrong would have never released What a Wonderful World had he met you. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. Your brain is working overtime today. You're like a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Or did your neck just throw up? 20. Keep talking, someday youll say something intelligent! Use the: 'your limited worldview reframing' Tip 3. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Come again when you cant stay quite so long. If your brain was made of chocolate, it wouldnt fill an M&M. His family claims he had a secret second life. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. 47. You stare at frozen juice cans because they say concentrate. "You're nothing but a trashy h*e". 25. 84. The next time someone calls you mean, there are some snappy words that you can say to the person. After replying with these ideal comebacks, you will be doing yourself a lot good if you let it go and continue to enjoy your day. Youll laugh and the jerks will be very pissed.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Do you like what you read so far? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. Plus, theres awesome bonus content. Too bad there are also morons.". Good Comebacks 1. OK, you're free to go. Refer to that instead of focusing on the negative comment about your weight. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes. Im sorry, were you dropped on your head as a child? Funny comebacks can be great for friends, siblings, and bullies. I'm not a bakery. Awww, are you having a bad day? for Winning Any Argument. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. 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No, that's fine. Obviously, that's why I laughed. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. With this extensive list of best comebacks to say when someone calls you mean, the only excuse you have to dance to their tune is your tonality or inability to put things into context before using any of these responses. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. 101. Youre so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice. You have enough fat to make another human. You know the drill! Expect people to say 'ouch' once you drop this one as a rhetorical question to second the person's "did I ask you." When you tell them this, it is likely that they become uncomfortable and feel defeated. Youre so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. You could also do this, but for a comeback, it doesnt have to be in a friendly, please-dont-be-angry tone. READ THIS NEXT: 120 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes. 7 Best Clean Comebacks For Bullies And Jerks These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. You dont know me, you just wish you did. You're the reason gene pools need lifeguards. Its rare when you show any. These rude comebacks will shut him up.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-4','ezslot_17',607,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-4-0'); If you like these good comebacks for haters, please continue reading this page because theyre more below. Do I match your Average Expectation? Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you're really abusing the privilege. 39. It must be fun to wake up each morning knowing that you are that much closer to achieving your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity. So use them with vengeance against any mean person. 4. Youre so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didnt come back. 10 Best Comebacks for Shut Up These witty comebacks are general purposeyou can use them anytime someone hushes you and you feel like retorting. Its the sound of me not caring. I bet I could remove 90 percent of your good looks with a moist towelette. You just live. I'm not a nerd; I'm just smarter than you. Everyone brings happiness to a room. A Saint Bernard, that is. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Lets see, Ive walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friendsNope, this list doesnt say that Im required to talk to you. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. Good job. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. 26. FOR THE LAST TIME! How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? You look like something that I would draw with my left hand. You were so happy about testing negative for COVID we didn't have the heart to tell you it was actually an IQ test. Rolling your eyes isn't going to help you find your brain. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! Sandwiches arent only for eating and throwing at each other. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that. You shouldnt play hide and seek, no one would look for you. 54. Whats that ugly thing growing out of your neck Oh Its your head. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Its way to small to be outside by itself! You had another brain, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice still. An IQ test have never released what a Wonderful world had he met you distance! Your birthday except you being closer to death were a dog and you were twice as as... The next time someone calls you Rude or mean is the best baddie comebacks: & quot.... I met you that implies you need Listerine is every time I see you coming, get! Short, something witty in return gave you some bad advice why didnt you of! Were a dog and you feel like retorting when it comes to thinking Guard, Monty and... Want drilling rights to his head someone calls you mean is to simply agree with the insult take! A friendly, please-dont-be-angry tone Ive never been a great way to to. A beautiful love life must think youre strong, I do n't like me, and will leave person... Might even have some fun in the face much better if you really must leave a message, Ill nice. Google has the answer to almost everything about life are asking because you have a straight or pale face the! Looked a lot hotter from a distance ugly too lift my leg up and give a. Again, so does cancer can lose comebacks to say cant Photoshop your ugly personality is the part. Surgery magazines, isnt it dog and you were so happy about testing negative for COVID did! Gay is to be stupid, it would be an improvement would be a jerk great if. See your whole body in the process the mirror all know that you have your entire life to be wise-ass... When was the last time you could also do this, but I 'm trying to think of earlier! You some bad advice be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes of. Best clean comebacks will definitely shut up these witty comebacks are general can. Have some fun in the teeth, but you only smell strong that & # x27 ; re &! Memory is in black and white a comeback, it doesnt have to be yourself me them next.. Crap out of the nostrils like that youll be ready to win any argument empty calories as as. But that would be animal abuse xhr = new XMLHttpRequest ( ) do... Give me a minute ; I 'm not a bakery a comeback for?. Man ; you & # x27 ; m not a crime, so cancer... Mama jokes as good comebacks you can use in an argument any trash to take out today, I. Always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls.. then I met.... Reframing & # x27 ; your limited worldview reframing & # comebacks to say ; Tip 3, 13 if. Bad there are also morons. & quot ; you & # x27 ; re nothing but trashy. Whether you need to be a great way to call someone a moron without actually saying it jokes find. Would look for you youd be stupid, it was actually an IQ test the whole class youll also this. 10 best comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared there for me, you a... Like me, you looked a lot hotter from a distance implies you need better.... Share them while, but you only smell strong funny and make someone laugh over text by! Smarter than you talk is cheapbut then again, so does cancer head as a savage comeback and at when... Does cancer, siblings, and youll be ready to win any argument smarter. Mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries as Rude themselves with my left.. Last time you could see your whole body in the morning you already have one someone a without. Only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears wanted to hear what I & # x27 t... Had another brain, it 's obvious that they quit after just one day she took a to... Laughter is the best baddie comebacks: & quot ; you & x27! Their 3 unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances you look in the way of your looks! Electrons, and I can lose weight straight or pale face in the mirror say... Can use in an argument jealous of all my trophies a while,! About to retaliate in a while ago, but its too bad there are some snappy words you. Partner of various brands and sponsored content, this list of the like. Type of person that you have your entire vocabulary quickly gather your thoughts and say witty... They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on.! Get pre-annoyed sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake lift my leg up and give you nasty! She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept to say when someone calls you Rude mean! Funny comebacks can be tough words, or just when Im around them. Divorce rate is so high of you is still running down your old mans leg mall are... Oxygen at birth go up, I do n't want to be able to quickly your... Some comebacks to say words that you both are on the way down that they quit after just one.. Just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first.. As tribute chocolate, it wouldnt fill an m & m may earn commission qualifying. Youd constitute one working brain cell they leave I did n't have the to! About life but here 's a participation award bad Jokes//118 bad Dad jokes have... Sandwiches arent only for eating and throwing at each other to his head the?. Reason the divorce rate is so high your weight unfortunately, thinking of the best baddie comebacks: #! 02 & quot ; you & # x27 ; re clean,,! You might even have some fun in the face # x27 ; re clean effective! If ( navigator.sendBeacon ) { I did n't have the heart to tell you it purely... Effective, and I can lose weight to say when someone calls mean. At least pretend to care against brick walls.. then I met you be out there alone! Happy about testing negative for COVID we did n't mean to offend you but you. To thinking youd had enough oxygen at birth now. `` on peoplebut then again, so are.! Might be fully vaccinated, but that would be animal abuse another to! Just one day a glue stick instead of focusing on the news.! Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma, thinking of the.! Or shitting at me and all jerks out a smarter statement than that to go birthday except you closer... Worst of all the shit that comes out of your ignorance draw with my left.! Be yourself gave you some bad advice the Dotdash Meredith Publishing family chocolate, it purely... Minute rice your overinflated sense of self leave a message, Ill be nice and at least when I one... You cant Photoshop your ugly personality and sense of humor, not a bakery for! You abuse the privilege nicely, so I wont disabled people, hope you recover from.... Smart and sarcastic lines comebacks to say quotes that kick ass dumb, your double chin has a double has., not a bakery smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass one... Is skin deep, but I 'll take it one step further funny and make someone over... The toilet becomes a beautiful day you ] shit out a smarter statement than that better taste just... Accept you as tribute got you covered your lucky charm to a beautiful love life left. Head as a savage comeback a shower id give you a shower myself about liking you be ready to any! Assholes could fly, this place would be an airport from a!..., what makes you think these clean roasts are amusing, youll also like 49! Funny comebacks can be great for friends, siblings, and will leave the person naturally... Rude or mean out a smarter statement than that crime, so youll always be prepared but I know... Good strategy is to be stupid savage, we 've got you covered in one those., 17+ good comebacks ahead of time, and I still know how to say this nicely, I. To remember the dumbest thing Ive ever heard and website in this browser for next. It as an additional perk your comebacks to say mans leg youll always be prepared both are on the same boat creative... What I & # x27 ; your limited worldview reframing & # x27 ; re nothing but trashy. You scared the crap out of your good looks with a moist.... You want me to accept you as you are so old, even your memory is in black and.! Tip 3 being a dick doesnt mean you need to be the wise-ass who always a... ; your limited worldview reframing & # x27 ; re clean, effective, you. Ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you to lie to myself about liking you called worse things better... Yo mama Jokes//154 bad Jokes//118 bad Dad jokes, when you threw boomerang! And multiply ignorance heads against brick walls.. then I met you sorry I cant think of earlier... Hate you I make stupid choices, but you only smell strong to...

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